Why did the paraplegic die in a fire? He couldn't get down the stairs.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what happens if you set micheal jackson on fire nothing he is 6 feet under incased in concrete if he wasnt hed melt

thumb_up thumb_down +6

When you hit an animal Realize your out of your mind Then realize the animals mind is over there in the ditch.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the kid with no arms get for christmas? No one knows he hasn't been able to open his presents yet.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Have you ever listened to the smell of the color 9? It tastes like freedom!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Someone threw a cigarette at me today... What a fag.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are red, Violets are blue.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Yo Mamma's so dumb... She cannot manage to find a decent job without her GED.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Today is May 18 2016.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you make a dentist cry? Rape him in the ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why can't you give a diabetic a cookie? Due to the lack of Insulin produced in the Pancreas, the sudden spike of sugar into the blood stream may send the person into a diabetic coma, which good possibly result in the amputation of a limb.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? The wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why do women wear make-up and perfume? Because they're ugly and they stink.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's worse than reading a bad joke Realizing it's yours.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Question: why did the pilot crash the plane? Answer: because the pilot was a loaf of bread

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: Why is the earth round? A: I am Batman.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How did the black guy get out of prison? Further evidence in the case was found which proved that the black guy was actually donating blood to a local blood drive for children with leukemia.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the boy do before school? Jacked off.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

My two friends Larry and Paul are both race horses. They were getting ready for a big race to quolify them for the Kentucky durby. BANG! The race started! What. Close race! First it was Larry then Paul then Larry then Paul! And finally Larry came out and won it! Paul went to the winners circle and congratulated Larry. He said "hey great job Larry but next time after you come back from touring will you let me win?" Larry says "oh! Of course this couldn't get between us! We're like two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket. We're best friends"... So when he came back from touring Larry said it was great! And promised let Paul win. BANG the race started! It was Paul then Larry then Paul then Larry won again. Paul was a little mad that he he didn't win but he went to congratulate larry anyway. Larry said next time he was deffinetly going to let Paul win, because he wasn't gonna let this get between them because they are two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket, they are best friends. Then after Larry came back from touring he promised again he would let Paul win. BANG! The race started and it was Paul then Larry! Then Paul! Larry! Paul! Then larry won. Paul at this point furious went to the winners circle. He talked to Larry "Larry why didn't you let me win for the third time!? This is just your ego trying to win every time now!?" I didn't want them to fight so I chimed in "Larry, Paul! Please don't fight! Your two peas in a pod! Closer then bread in a basket! Your best friends!! You don't want to fight like this!" Larry turned to Paul and said "Hey look! A talking dog!"

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What has two legs, takes away your money, and causes depression? A Democrat.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's worse than finding a holocost in your apple. A truck full of dead babies then what's worse than finding a truck full of dead babies in your apple. Braving to pich fork them out

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How many Neurons does a bug have? - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - -- - - - -- - - - - - -It's true

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was the woman in the kitchen? She came in to give her husband, who was washing the dishes, a kiss before she went to bed early so she could be well rested and get up on time to make the 45 minute commute to the hospital where she worked as a neurosurgeon the next morning.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops