What do you do when life gives you lemons? Make some fucking lemonade.

Why does Mario wear coveralls? Because it makes practical sense for his full time job as a plumber.

How do you catch wet wood on fire? Ask a business owner in Ferguson, MO, to keep it in their store.

A young girl walks out of a bar then gets raped.

One kid says I've had threw bottles of water and I haven't had to go to the bathroom. His friend says may have a urinary tract infection.

So what makes you that much adaptable? I get the feeling I should get this by now.

if a man is alone in the forest, and there are no women around to hear him...........is he still wrong?

- My grand mother died. - I'm sorry.... Did She died of old age ? - No, she got eaten by a giant worm.

Donald Trump

Yo momma so fat, she died.

Homosexuals are gay.

Q:Why did suzie fall off the swing A:She had no arms

how do you spend all your money you go buy stuff

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then watch the world as they wonder how you did it

Many people of many races do many things every day.

ME NAME IS JEFF

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Anything involving women..

Bob: You need to push harder? Tom: Oh wow what a coincidence, that is what my wife said last night. They laugh about the irony of the situation and then return to the task at hand

What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple whilst you're in a bar after finding out you have cancer when you visited your families grave? Having a refrigerator thrown at you by an aids infected monkey with no arms or legs.

yo mama so fat, she weighs 478 pounds and is in high risk of cardiovascular dieses and/or heart failure.

leon harney ya pikey

what did the left nut say to the right nut? The guy above us is a real dick huh?

Don't you sometime just want to chop of your toes and stomp around to prove to the so called 'experts' that it is possible for a person to walk without toes? . . . . . . me neither

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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