Whats Something everyone has except david? Money.

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Why was the Mexican smart? Because he was very well educated and went to college, and got a Ph.D

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knock, knock! No answer, they probably can't hear you, use the doorbell.

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Knock knock. Who's there You are.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 ? Cause 7 was a petophile and 6 has four children

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What is brown red and white? I don't know, that's why I asked you

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What is funnier than onion gravy? Mushroom gravy.

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Why did the white girl fuck the mexican? Because her teacher told her to do an "essay"

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of problems with money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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What do you call a black man with a PhD and loving family? A nigger

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What do you call a black man with a gun? A cop

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Roses are red Violets are blue This poem makes no sense FIRETOE!!!

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Why did the cat have hair? Because he did.

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When your scuba diving why do u jump off backwards beacause if u jump forwards than u witll still be in the boat!!!!!!

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Why did the bones cross the road? They didn't, the dogs ate them.

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A man finds a mysterious lamp on the side of the road. He picks it up, rubs it, and sells the lamp at a pawn shop for $10,000. The man paid off his credit card debt and was happy that he did not have to file for bankruptcy.

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Why are you late? Sorry, I would have been here sooner, only I wasn't.

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What did little jimmy get for Christmas? A box containing the malevolent soul of a 10,000 year-old demon determined to torment his cat.

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Republicans

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Q: Why is my friend gay? A: Because i slept with him.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One splatters and makes a big red mark on the ground when dropped from a building. The other is a fruit.

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What did the serial killer eat for breakfast? You.

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Guy 1: why are you such a douche? Guy 2: cause douches get the most p***y

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Why did Santa's little helper feel depressed? Neurotransmitters essential for happiness, such as serotonin and norepinephrine, were in rather low supply in the poor elf's brain.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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