What do you call children with no arms or legs ...their names

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. Everyone is amazed because he can now walk.

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Knock-Knock. Who's there? The person knocking at your door.

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Paige

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I don't know what I've been told I'm a refrigerator

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knock knock who's there? roses are red, violets are blue, i shit in a bag and now its in flames on your porch

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Roses are red violets are blue I hate rhyming pancakes

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Friends are like snow: If you piss on them, they disappear.

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Knock knock ... KNOCK KNOCK ... I guess nobody's home.

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whats red and can fall on you blood from a hunted duck.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they get into the Batmobile? -Come on Robin, get into the Batmobile!

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Yo mama is so fat!

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Whats worse than dying? Nothing, really.

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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What's black, white and red all over? A zebra carcass

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Why did Uncle Monty shove his head up a horses arse? Because it gave Doris an erection. She chose to keep her male genital organs following her gender changing procedure, so that she could still father children.

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Q: What do you call a black pilot? A: A pilot, you racist

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Q: Whats the difference between a guitar and a piece of ham? A: You can eat a piece of ham.

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Why Does God Hate Gays? He Doesent, God Does Not Exist.

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Why did the disabled man fall of the swing, someone shot him.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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what do you get when you combine fire and water? alcohol

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Q: What did William Wallace say to Beyonce after Taylor Swift's performance? A: Nothing, because William Wallace has been dead for some time now.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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