what did Sandra bullock say to Jesse James? I hate your fickin a**!!:)

thumb_up thumb_down +28

There was a screwdriver and a spoon. What did the screwdriver say to the spoon? Nothing because neither of them are living objects and it is impossible for inanimate objects to talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

whats the difference between my mom and your mom nothing they are both sluts

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What got stolen from the poor boys house... Nothing, he was so poor that he couldn't even afford any thing

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How can you shed 10 pounds in one day? Get your legs amputed.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

why did the chicken cross the road? who cares its a chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the chicken cross the road? because potatos are invading russia

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why couldn't little Jessica open the door? It was locked

thumb_up thumb_down +26

WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN DANII AND SCAFFHOLDING? ONLY ONE STILL HAS A POLE 1 LIKE = 1 TEAR FOR DANII

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the boy get hit by the bus? He didn't check both sides before crossing

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Chinese drivers.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Another cat joke. You gotta be kitten me.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Whats worse then getting hit by a truck? Getting hit by a turkey!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

what would Michael jakson do if he was alive? scream and hit the top of his coffin

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why does mexico not have an Olympic team? They do

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

I think people who go to see a psychiatrist need their head examining.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How old are you like 10? Im 11 so shut the fuck up

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A black man, a Mexican man, and an Asian man all walked into a bar. They proceeded to have a good time together as they were celebrating their graduation from medical school.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How many dead babies can fit in a dead horse 11

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why was Sally crying? Because she had a frog stapled to her face.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's, Who are you?

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the black kid get for his birthday?

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's the difference between jam and jelly? Jam is slightly more viscous and may contain bits of fruit.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops