How do you find out how many Mexicans are living in the United States? Take a Census.

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Why did the black person cross the road? Because the street light turned green

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i heard something so funny it made me crap my pants you were a mistake

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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Your chicken just went across the road. What does this tell you about the economy?

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A gay jew walked into a bar. Just kidding, for there was only a red blanket.

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? None, because feminists can't change anything

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Why can't the boy ride his bike to school? It has no wheels.

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Womens rights

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Why was the man sad His son got raped

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, And I'm color blind, So I don't give a shit

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Your Momma is so old, she started exercising more and eating healthier to increase the chance of her living long enough to enjoy your own children's lives.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? There was a huge pile of dead babies blocking his path.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? -Why? I don't know,I'm asking you the question.

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What do a plum and a rabbit have in common? They are both purple except for the rabbit.

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your mom is so fat, shes not skinny

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Did the Chicken cross the road? No the road moved the chicken across.

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Why did the Jew rob the bank? -He was a criminal.

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Why did Osama bin laden plan 9/11? Same reason Justin bieber was born....

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Whats green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Two muffins are in the oven, One says "Damn it, so hot in here," The other one says " Wow! Muffin which can talk!"

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Whats the worst part of Chemotharapy? The Cancer.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? This is 7, if you do everything I say, 6 will live.

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Why did the Quantum chicken cross the road? It was already on both sides.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops