roses are red and violets are blue and i was going to write something that rimes but that is not funny here.

Paper shield.

(read this aloud): A man walks into a bar with a giraffe. Him and the giraffe order multiple shots and get hammered. The giraffe on the other hand can't hold his liquor so well, and ends up passing out on the floor of the bar. The man decides to leave him there and take off. On his way out, the bartender yells, "Hey, you can't just leave that lyin' there!" and the man says, "It's not a lion, it's a giraffe!"

why did the nazi eat the jew? He didn't

Why is a Wesley a black man ? He licks tuna

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 is a registered sex offender.

jack and jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water jack collapsed because of serious drug abuse and stress jill followed after not being able to handle the tragedy of her brothers death this wouldn't have happened if they got into my van when i asked them too.

why did the fat guy become fat ...COD..

What do you call an indian driving a plane? A pilot.

Yeah, and speaking about spiderman, I got some weird senses, when I get stressed things begin seeming slower, and gets a weird blur effect, not sure what it is, but if you know what "bullet hell video games are" Technically games where you play as a tiny spaceship and lots of bullets fly around, I was always awesome at those games as a kid, because the more stress I felt while playing, the slower my perception of time felt.

poo is yummy

Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

Two Mexicans walk into a bar, The bartender says your hired.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it saw food on the other side the the farmer was going to chop his head off.

A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two solely on her hair color, proceeds to kill them with a single shot glass. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

Why was the boy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

How many dead babies can you fit in a sink? I don't know i forgot to turn the garbage disposal off

How do you make a dyke moan? Insert a BEAVER in it!

Hey, I just met you And this is crazy I have alzheimer's Bacon

this sentence will end in the way you expected.

Why couldn't Paul see. He got stabbed in the eye by two mexicans

Roses are yellow Violets are yellow bark bark

Whats the next Line? YAH YAH YAH YAH YAH....

We have a 24hr fitness center...it is open from 6 to 11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...