Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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A man walks into his doctor's office He says: ''Doctor, I have said goodbeye to my family and friends and I have decided to take the pills you offered me and die peacefully in my sleep, I won't suffer any longer from my disease''. The doctor answers: ''You are in luck, we still have a few of them left''

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The cat climbed a tree. It didn't want to come down, so it starved to death.

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? A pair of broken sunglasses, because his parents didn't care about him, and because he lived in Hawaii where it is very hot in December. Plus the kid's blind. By Nikhil Sridhar of Taikoo Shing, Hong Kong.

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once upon a time there was a boy

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Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. He calls the right number.

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you ever hear the joke about the rabbi, the pope and an elephant? No? well its a good one...

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A black man and a mexican are in a car. Who is driving? The black man.

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Where does the Queen keep her armies? In various military bases across the country.

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Michael Jackson's favorite places: Toystore Candy shop Playground Amusment parks Kindergarden classroom Orphanige

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Whats worse than forgetting some thing at the supermarket? your nuts being nail gunned to the wall.

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What do you call a black man with a PhD and loving family? A nigger

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What did the 5 cent store clerk say to the customer? That will be 5 cents.

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What is faster than a black man with a stereo? A car

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whats black and white and slides on its belly a penguin

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Robocop and T-800 argue over who can run the fastest, Robocop claims he is the fastest, while T-800 says that he is the fastest. To settle things once and for all, they start a race. At first T-800 seems to be leading Then the T-800 is leading by a great distance. moments later the T-800 has a huge lead. But then suddenly, without any warning, the race shifts! T-800 is now leading only by a great distance! Yet in a amazing, and completely unexpected plot-twist. T-800 wins! Moral: :O

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Whats green and turns red at the push of a button A frog in a blender

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're adopted.

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Why did the women call 911 on her 12 year old son? Because he was schizophrenic and attempting to commit suicide by hanging himself.

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What makes a good jack-o-lantern? A pumpkin

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Why did Sally get hit with a fridge? Because someone threw a fridge at Sally Why would someone throw a fridge at her? Because Sally has no arms

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try slamming a revolving door

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmicist.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? she had no arms of legs. Knock Knock Whos there? Not sally.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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