What did the little girl do with her puppy? She killed it.

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What did the man with Tourette's say to the other man? Surely something he did not mean to say.

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what did the scene kid get for christmas? a gift card which he used ironically.

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Whats that cool sound it makes when you thumbs a comment?

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How do you get a priest to cry? Stab him.

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Knock knock Who's there? A penguin A penguin who? Just kidding, a penguin could never survive in this climate, I'm mark and was wondering if I could give you an estimate on some new siding

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A man walks into a bar and says Ouch.

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what did the african child get for his birthday? water, it is a very scare resource were he comes from and is considered a great present

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Here's a little diddy I wrote for One Direction: Now One Direction, don't forget that we all know About the antics that you pull at your own live shows Like you take your own lyrics and give 'em a swerve Now they either make no sense or make you sound like pervs And Liam, why you swiping cameras and phones? What you need a girl's number cause you're crusin alone? And another thing, it's a frickin spoon for God's sake What did this thing impale your puppy with a giant frickin stake? And so One Direction, we now all think That in about a year, y'all are gonna go N*SYNC and disappear cause N*SYNC isn't around any...aw you know!

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why did the blind man crash his car? he had down syndrome.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Why, apples are the optimum environment for the worm species, offering a stable temperature with the efficiency of nutrition and comortable value, therefore in reality finding a worm in your apple is a healthy suggestion that the Global Warming effects on Earth have not yet affected the ever increasing innocent worm population.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? Chuck Noris

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Politely ask him to come down

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Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: ...... Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: ...... Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: ...... Person 1 leaves because no one is answering the door

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You want to know how I got these scars? A horrible knife throwing accident.

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Vagina jokes aren't funny. Period. Damnit, ignore that.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because while he was swinging, his friends dared him to jump off and called him a chicken when he didn't. Still hesitant, he tried to jump off, but his arm caught on the swing chain and he fell face first into the tanbark. He needs reconstructive surgery to repair his face.

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What is brown and sticky? A stick

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Lizzy doesnt shave or shower. She just went to the bathroom in the middle of the school hallway

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Why did Billy drop his ice-cream? He got stabbed multiple times

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What do you call a guy with newmonya? Not good at spelling

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Knock knock. ... ... *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

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a man walks into a bar the other man ducks

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Go online. why? To get a quote. why? To save money. Because we said so! Parenting can be hard. see how easy it is to save with GEICO.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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