Why didn't Little Timmy's parrot talk? It's neck had snapped.

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How did the blind man watch T.V? With the captions on.

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What do you call a black midget with no legs and has 11 fingers? A human being

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Why'd the girl fall of her scooter? She fell into a hole and died. She was never found again. All that was left was her scooter.

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What'f funny and has 8 wheels? The Holocaust, I lied about the wheels

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5

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because the walk sign said to

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If you like this, it will have one extra like

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I once had my heart broken by my first true love. I then died, she was convicted of murder and my family grieved over my death.

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What do you call a dog eating a dead dog? A hungry dog

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A. Do you know what they call Bing Crosby in Sweden? B. No. A. Bing Crosby.

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A man walks into his doctor's office He says: ''Doctor, I have said goodbeye to my family and friends and I have decided to take the pills you offered me and die peacefully in my sleep, I won't suffer any longer from my disease''. The doctor answers: ''You are in luck, we still have a few of them left''

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What's the difference between a woman and a car? A woman is merely a useful object, whereas a car deserves love, care, and respect.

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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The cat climbed a tree. It didn't want to come down, so it starved to death.

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Why did 0 dislike 1? Because 1 made 0 feel like he was nothing

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what do you call some one with no arms and no legs? names.

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womens rights

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What rhymes with orange? Somalia.

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If you are riding on a broomstick and it breaks in the middle of the ocean... How many pieces of toast does it take to fill a light house? Purple, because Oranges cannot fly.

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What is faster than a black man with a stereo? A car

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Robocop and T-800 argue over who can run the fastest, Robocop claims he is the fastest, while T-800 says that he is the fastest. To settle things once and for all, they start a race. At first T-800 seems to be leading Then the T-800 is leading by a great distance. moments later the T-800 has a huge lead. But then suddenly, without any warning, the race shifts! T-800 is now leading only by a great distance! Yet in a amazing, and completely unexpected plot-twist. T-800 wins! Moral: :O

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whats black and white and slides on its belly a penguin

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What did the 5 cent store clerk say to the customer? That will be 5 cents.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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