whats black white and read all over a zebra bleeding to death because a zombie just attacked it and then it attackeed the zombie

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

What do you call a horse with no legs? Useless.

A man walks into a bar. He buys a beer, drinks it and walks out.

What's sad about an old black woman being hit by a Porsche? She was my third grade English teacher, and had a huge impact upon my life.

What did Bush say to Obama was elected? I'm going to have you assassinated.

Why did the black man almost go to jail? He rolled a 6 in monopoly, if it was a 7, he would've been sent straight to jail without passing "go"

When life gives you lemons, thank life for its generosity.

A rapist is asked to teach a kindergarden class. The kids learn many things and have a great day.

what do you call gingers ugly.

How many jews can you fit into a car? 2 in the front, 2 in the back, and a thousand in the ash tray.

how do you make a blonde snowman? hollow out the head.

what do you call a kid without arms and legs? Freak

Knock knock! Who's there? Boo! Boo who? Aww, don't cry!

What is funnier than onion gravy? Mushroom gravy.

Why did the women leave the kitchen? She didn't, women belong in the kitchen.

Your mom's so old she sometimes uses outdated racial slurs loudly in public. It can get pretty embarrassing.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

what do you call a attractive blond haired girl who sings songs. pixie lott

Why aren't elephants allowed in public pools? Because they are elephants.

What do you call a muslim who is not a terrorist ? A muslim

Text me back when you can. I can't, my fingers got amputated.

What did the rapper Proof say when he got in a fight? Nothing, Proof is dead.

What do you call a man with a towel on his head? A good target.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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