*Knock knock! "Who's there?" "Jehovah's witness" .....

thumb_up thumb_down -8

why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer left the gate open and chickens typically wonder with no obvious pattern to their movements.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the zebra say to the giraffe? Nothing, they can't talk dipshit.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

your going to die

thumb_up thumb_down -8

my shift key is broken1

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Roses are red Violets are blue Does this cloth smell like chloroform to you!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why didn't Little Timmy's parrot talk? It's neck had snapped.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Know what would be awkward, if a GPS told a gay guy to get straight.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's the difference between a pen and a tiger? Believe it or not they are both not a cantaloupe.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

When your scuba diving why do u jump off backwards beacause if u jump forwards than u witll still be in the boat!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man walks into a bar with a monkey, I forgot the rest of the joke, but your mom's a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

I like the way he thinks. Too bad he has alzheimers.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why can't vegetarians eat mushrooms because I can't urinate over a scotch bonnet :/

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Roses are red, Violets are blue, This poem doesn't make sense. Refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the fat gypsy say to the attractive young woman aged twenty-five? I know you are probably not remotely interested in having sex with me, but I'm afraid that you have no choice due to the fact that I've locked all of the doors.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man walked into a bar. He was meeting his friends but was 30 minutes early so he went down the road to buy some food. He had recently began dieting after watching a series of lifestyle programs which informed him of the potential risks involved with high cholesterol and blood pressure levels. He purchased a garden salad and a freshly squeezed orange juice, and made it back to the bar in time to meet his friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What happened when the kid tried to hang himself? He was overweight, so the ceiling fan that the rope was tied to fell out of the ceiling. When he explained this to his drunk mother when she got home, she reinforced the fact that he was overweight (his low self esteem was the root of his depression) and beat him. The next day, he just chugged antifreeze. This isn't a true story. Just calm down.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why was the little boy afraid of Mr.Clean? Because he reminded him of his father who was an alcoholic and used to beat him savagely.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

My name is Harry.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why do women wear perfume and makeup? Because they smell bad and are ugly.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

im not as random as you think I- Potato

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What happened to Kurt Cobain? He committed suicide. He shot himself in the head with a shotgun and then he died.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

why was 6 afraid of 7?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why didn't the gangster cross the road? Because he J-walked and was hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops