What goes in dry, comes out wet and pleases two people. A teabag, you pervert.

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How many dead babies can fit in a dead horse 11

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How do you help a chronic drug addict? Buy him or her more drugs. They NEED it.

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

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Why are all Asians smart? Not all of them are, Asians are stereotypically smart because their parents most likely grew up in an under-developed country and want their children to be successful because they don't want their children to experience what they did.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He lacked the required muscular, integumentary, and nervous systems required to do so (among other essential bodily systems).

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Pinus Testicles

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I nicknamed my diick "the truth" because the biitches can't handle it

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What is the hardest part about rollerblading? Most commonly the balance part.

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What does the man do to his meat? He beats it.

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A horse walks into a bar... The bartender is amazed at the fact that an animal that possesses neither the mental nor the physical abilities to open doors, still managed to enter the bar without breaking anything.

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One time I masturbated by myself

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fack me in the ace! CC

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What is translucent and smells like a carrot ? A translucent carrot.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? James. Ok.

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What do you call a man with 3 arms, 6 ears, 9 fingers, and a red clown nose? His name.

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TWIX PAUSE!

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Why does 1 + 1 = 2? ....seriously P

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What's brown, dirty, and smells like feces? Feces

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Knock knock. Come in.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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Wombat monkey juice.

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A woodchuck could chuck wood but a woodchuck couldn't chuck Norris because Norris isn't a type of wood.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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