How do you get a baby into a bowl? Use a blender. How do you get the baby out of the bowl? Tortilla chips.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Two people are walking down the street, unaware of the highly polluted environment and that they could save a life.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the penguin die? He was anti-social and would rather die than huddle. So he died. THE END

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What Do You Call Black People Skydiving? A fun time.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what do you call a man with no penis? what ever his name is

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Pitbull is Mr. Worldwide because his music sucks everywhere in the world

thumb_up thumb_down -8

why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's the difference between 9/11 and Jenga? The World Trade Center wasn't ruined by clumsiness.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Goldilocks walks into a bar. But its not really a bar, it's a bear cave and she is eaten by porridge eating bears.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Whats worse than forgetting some thing at the supermarket? your nuts being nail gunned to the wall.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A gay man takes another gay man home after a wild night at the city's top club. They choose to be safe and not have gay sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Whats green and has wheels? A Rednecks front lawn.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

a bumble bee walked into a bar, looking tired and worn out. 'long day, eh?' said the barman. 'yes' replied the bee. 'i was flying along to collect some honey when i noticed a large obstical obstructing me. i stuck my pointy needle in it, and according to legend, i will die in short hours to come' suddenly michael jacksons thriller flicked on in the jukebox, the bumble bee boogied all night long until he slowly passes away in the early hours of the morning. long live boogie bee.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's worse then finding a finger in your Chili? Getting Mollested by a Pterodactyl.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did I do last night?work

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the German Constitutional Court issue Decision 2 BvR 1390/12 on September 12, 2012? Because they wanted to refuse the request for a temporary injunction in regards to the European Stability Mechanism!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Hey guess what! We're birthday buddies! May 3rd.. Yeah that's why you should give me 5 bucks.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

why can't helen keller drive? Because she is deaf and blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did Frank go to the doctor? He had a bad case of the ebeyjeebes.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What happened to the boy who cried wolf? He was brutally raped and killed, Inglewood is really not a place you want your children growing up.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the blonde do when her car broke down? Made a Facebook status about then called animal control.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the black man do with the white mans stolen bike? He returned it after finding it outside a local shopping mall.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops