Know what would be awkward, if a GPS told a gay guy to get straight.

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your going to die

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Roses are red Violets are blue Does this cloth smell like chloroform to you!

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What's the difference between a pen and a tiger? Believe it or not they are both not a cantaloupe.

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Why didn't Little Timmy's parrot talk? It's neck had snapped.

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my shift key is broken1

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I like the way he thinks. Too bad he has alzheimers.

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When your scuba diving why do u jump off backwards beacause if u jump forwards than u witll still be in the boat!!!!!!

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A man walks into a bar with a monkey, I forgot the rest of the joke, but your mom's a whore.

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Why do women wear perfume and makeup? Because they smell bad and are ugly.

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Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she's a women. Why can't Stephen Hawking speak freely with his voice? Because he's autistic.

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My name is Harry.

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What happened when the kid tried to hang himself? He was overweight, so the ceiling fan that the rope was tied to fell out of the ceiling. When he explained this to his drunk mother when she got home, she reinforced the fact that he was overweight (his low self esteem was the root of his depression) and beat him. The next day, he just chugged antifreeze. This isn't a true story. Just calm down.

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Why was the little boy afraid of Mr.Clean? Because he reminded him of his father who was an alcoholic and used to beat him savagely.

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A man walked into a bar. He was meeting his friends but was 30 minutes early so he went down the road to buy some food. He had recently began dieting after watching a series of lifestyle programs which informed him of the potential risks involved with high cholesterol and blood pressure levels. He purchased a garden salad and a freshly squeezed orange juice, and made it back to the bar in time to meet his friends.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 ? Cause 7 was a petophile and 6 has four children

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WELCOME TO THE SECRET BEYOND THE SIXTH SENSE! 1, Sound 2. sight 3.touch 4.Smell 5.Taste. 6.Balance? :(

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Q: What weighs 6 ounces, is extremely dangerous, and lives in a tree? A: A sparrow with a machine gun.

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What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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Why didn't the gangster cross the road? Because he J-walked and was hit by a car.

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What happened to the man who lost his left arm, left leg and eye in an accident? I expect he claimed insurance, assuming he was prudent enough to insure himself, or his workplace complied with legislation.

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Where does the Queen keep her armies? In various military bases across the country.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, This poem doesn't make sense. Refrigerator.

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Why can't vegetarians eat mushrooms because I can't urinate over a scotch bonnet :/

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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