Why did the chicken cross the road?... To get to the other side.

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What do you tell someone who says they are contemplating suicide? where to find some cheap cyanide

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knock knock who's there? to to who? to whom*

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Why did the pony go to the Doctor's? It had Horse AIDS.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I suck at Poetry, show me your Tits.

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why was the little girl crying? because she was molested

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Beacuse it was dead.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's, Who are you?

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Set an alarm for a reasonable hour.

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Why did the man not want to be a tree? Because he didn't want to.

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A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Why was the little girl blowing bubbles in the swimming pool? Because she was drowning

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why did sally fall off the swing? because she was a fish.

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How come little billy couldn't ride a tricycle? Because he was born without legs due to a rare disease and therefore can't pedal.

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dfasdf sdf ds fds fds f sdf s fs

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Why did the rabbit cross the road? I don't know, I was asking you.

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One man's trash is another dyslexic man's shart.

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I now pronounce you man and lion. You may now kiss the pride.

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whats hard, its not what you think a penis

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What do you call it when you kill a Jewish homosexual? Murder.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some dreams stay dreams, But some dreams come true. Some want to be god, They want to have made us. But I want to be an astronaught, So I can explore Uranus.

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Knock Knock ... guess nobody's home.

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What's red and smells like paint? Red paint.

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops