why was the 40 year old still a virgin? it doesnt know either.

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Your mother is so stupid that she has trouble discerning certain facts from fiction.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the hospital? A: The victim of a violent mob attack

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Bushes are red, HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!

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How do you fit a homosexual man into a small card board box? You cut him into pieces.

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Why was the black man hand cuffed by a woman cop? Because they are a married couple who feel like role play will help spark their sex life again.

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Why did the man buy Trojan for his women? It's condom curtsey.

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Violets are red. Roses are blue. I am drunk, and i'm about to spew.

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A guy walks into a bar Many people gather around him to see if he is alright and to tell him he needs to watch where he is going.

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what did bob say to joey, nothing joey's dead

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What do you call a penis without hair? Apple sause

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What's yellow, long, hard, and moves up and down? A banana in an elevator...

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Friend: "Hey man! Did you hear about the kid who bought the last hamster at the pet shop? Other friend: "No..." Friend: "Oh, well he shot himself last night."

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Knock Knock! Who's there? I am.

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What do you call a Mexican on a boat? A sailor

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Dad: "Happy birthday, son! Let's go get a beer." Timmy: "But dad, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year has gone by and how little we've grown. No matter how desperate we are, we hope that someday a better self will emerge, with each flicker of the candles on the cake, we know it's not to be, that for the rest of our sad, wretched pathetic lives, this is who we are to the bitter end. Inevitably, irrevocably; happy birthday? No such thing.” Timmy's mom had just died of cancer a few days ago. A friend walks in the door, not knowing Timmy's mom died just a few short days before his birthday. He screams, "Happy birthday!" TImmy: "Damn. I'm not going through this again."

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once upon a time, a bird fell in love with a fish.. they both died.

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why did the chicken cross the road? Does it matter why, it just did.

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Q: What did the peanut say to the shell? A: Its dark in here.

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what did the chinese guy say to the black guy? hello

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A man has only two fingers on one hand, and everybody calls him two-fingered Mike. Why? Because his fingers were lost in a tragic accident at birth, and his parents, who were considering calling him Mike, decided to lengthen the name because it seemed appropriate.

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Where is the last place you would find a Mexican? In a good hiding spot that you didn't think of while trying to find him.

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What do you call a guy who can't get a girlfriend? Me.

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Am I a cat? No, I am a human; cat's cannot type.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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