Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

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Why couldn't the blonde bride make it to her own wedding? She had another unplanned circumstance occur and the wedding was postponed until next week.

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Who would win in a chess duel between Ender Wiggin and Artemis Fowl? Artemis Fowl will calculate the optimal path to move his pieces. Ender Wiggin will calculate the optimal path to kill the queen, so all the other pieces just sort of fall down.

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Why didn't the parakeet eat my diarrhea? I already ate it.

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penis

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What is Santa's favorite color? Blue

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Who's Italian and plays with a peach? Mario

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What do you call a bus full of white people? A Twinky!!!

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How many 1 ft dwarfs does it take to climb up a 55 ft ladder? Only one. It's just a ladder. All you gotta do is climb up it.

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I saw a "Baby on Board" bumper sticker on a car TARGET AQUIRED

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Q:what do you call a black man flying a plane? A: a pilot

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why did the frog cross the road it was stapled to a chicken

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Why did the fat man go to America? Because he was excited to get of work for vacation.

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what do you call a mentally and physically obese man? nothing until you know or obtain his name

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Dad what does negligence mean? SHUT THE FUCK UP KID! I TOLD YOU TO NEVER SPEAK TO ME AGAIN!

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Why has Bugs Bunny got big ears Because he's a rabbit

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no, ten dead babies nailed to ten dead babies.

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Q: Where did Bethany hide the dead baby? A: In the trash can

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What did one pile of dirt say to the other pile of dirt?? You're dirty

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What do you call a homosexual in the army? A brave and honorable person who should be applauded for their service to this great nation

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What do you get when you put white cheese in a blender and turn it on? White cheese.

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Roses are black, violets are black. I'm blind.

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What did the cast of sex and the city get for Christmas Nothing Sarah Jessica Parker is Jewish

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I really might try and kill myself when I get home tonight.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops