How many elephants can you fit in a car? depends how big the car is!

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what is the difference between a banana and an orange? bread.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple-sized tumor in your colon

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Why did the gay man die? He had AIDS

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A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. The man was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral service.

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Why did the fat guy survive the plain crash He didn't he died like everyone else

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? Abbott! Abbott who? Abbott time you answered the door! The door was never answered because they did not know the person at the door.

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What's pink fluff? Pink fluff. What's blue fluff? Pink fluff holding it's breath. What's red fluff? Angry pink fluff. Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a tr-- No. What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple, 'cause the other half's in your mouth. What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Angry pink fluff. What's worse than angry pink fluff? The holocaust. That's not funny. Stop laughing.

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what's the difference between a dog and a sheep? one's a dog and the other isn't.

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What's black and white and red all over? A mime lying in a pool of blood.

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What did the duck say to the flag? NOTHING DUCKS CANT SPEAK or flags

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A zombie walks into a bar. It was shot by an M16 automatic rifle. The video game had zombies.

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Why did the bus crash? What, you were expecting an answer? I was asking you

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it.

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Your mom is so fat, it is unlikely that she will be able to survive the month without experimental liposuction and heart surgery, and even then her outlook is bleak. I am so sorry.

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What's funnier than an knock knock joke???? Dancing narwhals pooping talking soup

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Why was the little boy screaming? He was going down a steep drop on a roller coaster.

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Whats Black and White and Red all over? A white boy who just got jumped, with sever bruises left lying in a pool of his own blood.

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Why did the whale cross the ocean? To reproduce as a way of life.

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What did the fat man do when someone told him he was fat? He kept eating, for he was deaf.

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whats green and has wings ? a flying patch of astro turf

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"KNOCK KNOCK". I opened the door to greet my guests for the party.

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Who killed the ears of every human being? -Rebecca Black

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I added ICE to WKD it was WICKED

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops