What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A jew is a person contending to the faith of Judaism, and a pizza is an Italian flat normally round or square baked good consisting of dough, tomato sauce, cheese and various spices, and is sometimes enjoyed with toppings such as meat or vegetables.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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If an anti joke is told, and it is about an aunty is it an aunty anti joke? Adolf Hitler.

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Your mama's so fat.

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Q.What do you call a black man flying a plane? A. A black pilot you racist bastard

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Why did the little boy get food poisoning? Because his family can't afford to buy organic food, and can only afford McDonald's burgers, where their cows are forced to stand in their own feces.

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Joe Paterno walks into a police station.

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Jersey Shore

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What do u get when u mix a dinosaur and a lesbian? A-lick-alot-a-puss

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What did the doctor say to the female car crash victim? Nothing she was dead when he walked in the room.

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Q: whats pink and fluffy? A: Pink fluff.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? I don't know it depends on how hard you throw them.

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Why did the chicken stop in the middle of the road? To get to the other side.

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whats the difference of the mexican and the bench the mexicans alive

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Steven hawking walks into a bar. a.w j.p

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What do you call a person with no legs playing soccer? A soccer player.

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Why did Sarah fall of the swing ? Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Well it cant be sarah

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What would Jesus do? Do? You mean like do it? You have a dirty mind.

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a bumble bee walked into a bar, looking tired and worn out. 'long day, eh?' said the barman. 'yes' replied the bee. 'i was flying along to collect some honey when i noticed a large obstical obstructing me. i stuck my pointy needle in it, and according to legend, i will die in short hours to come' suddenly michael jacksons thriller flicked on in the jukebox, the bumble bee boogied all night long until he slowly passes away in the early hours of the morning. long live boogie bee.

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knock knock. who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke her face

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why did the lady fall on the ground? The cord for the parachute was cut by her husband

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Q: Do you know what's the no.1 cause of pedophellia? A: Sexy kids

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Once you buy it, you will get a 365 day warranty or a 1 year warranty, whichever comes first

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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