Why did the girl fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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What did the finger say to the thumb? I'm in glove with you.

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What happened to the dog who lost its legs? It Died.

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i am iron man running over fat kids in my van

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Q: A Blonde and a Brunette fall of a building which one hits the ground first? A: The Brunette because she ways 200 pounds and the Blonde weighs 100.

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"Hey, why won't you let me through?" "These tickets are fake." "No they aren't. LOOK OVER THERE!" The guard turns around, and then turns back. Minorly inconvenienced, he arrests the man immediately, upon which he is sent to jail and anally raped multiple times.

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The Pope, Queen Elizabeth and a schoolboy are on a plane that is going to crash. It crashes and they all die instantly.

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but his stomach was not big enough to finish. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free meal.

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How are trees and friends alike? They are both subject to fall when struck with an axe.

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"You two form fours while I get the other one"

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what makes the world go round? An axis (just jokin, its COFFEE)

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Why is Jesus not real? Because Chuck Norris is still alive.

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Why was little Sammy crying? because she had a frog stapled to her forehead

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a blond was walking across a river thinking how do I get across. when she saw another blond. and asked how do I get to the other side and the other said your already on the other side.

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there are some things i dont get. Quantum Physics is one of them.

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Why didn't Jimmy go to school? Because Jimmy is a brick wall.

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what did reed read? the most recent anti-joke

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Guess what! what haha u listened to me

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What do you call a guy with a bomb strapped to his chest flying a plane? A pilot with a bomb strapped to his chest

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I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE YELLING ABOUT!!! LOUD NOISES!!!

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Roes are red Violets are blue I felt silly for writing this Because violets are violet.

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? His health was dwindling ever since he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer several years ago and this looked like the end.

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What's black and hangs from a rope on a tree in my backyard? A tire swing.

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The knocking didn’t cease. It grew harder as the voice grew louder. “Let me in! Let me in! LET ME IN!” The knocking grew so fierce it could have shattered the door. Tears leaked from her eyes. “What do I do,” she thought “should I open the door?” The knocking was more than she could bear. “I know you’re in there, Kat.” it said. Her stomach twisted, her breath caught in her throat, and tears now streamed down her face. “Go away!” she shouted finally. “Let me in!” it screamed in response. “Leave me alone!” she cried. The voice and the knocking echoed in her head, making her more nauseous than before. Reaching for the lock hesitantly, she sucked up her tears and held her breath, unlocking the door and throwing it open. Nothing was there. The tree stood in the yard unmoving, no wind. Nothing. She shut the door, shaking in fear. With the click of the lock, the room grew cold. Goose-bumps covered her skin. “Thank you for letting me in.” a voice whispered behind her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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