Why did the chicken cross the road? Jupiter is the Galaxys biggest planet!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

In the middle of a long flight from Heathrow to Chicago O'Hare, the passengers of a 747 watched the engines all suddenly flame out. "Now, folks," the captain said over the PA as the plane plummeted to the earth, "I want it on record that I said it in plain English: a 747 can't fly from Heathrow to Chicago without refueling." No one bothered writing it down.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Me and the wife spent her Birthday in bed, if you know what I mean. We're both severely disabled.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A duck walks into a bar and the bartender asks "What'll you have?" and the duck says "Quack". The bartender is then promptly fired and committed to the nearest mental institution for thinking that ducks can talk and order beer.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Call of Duty is Awesome So is fingering a dead lion with an iron dildo

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what do you call a grown man who sticks food up his nose? retarded

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the blind lawyer say to the doctor? We're both lawyers!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why is six afraid of seven? Because 7 is black.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

?u?? ????? ????? '?? p??? o? u?op ?p?sdn s??? p?dd??? no? ??

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the teacher say to the pupil who was bad at maths? You are bad at maths and will never complete any sum EVER!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Rampage, on the streets of the poor. Secrets finally leaving, escaping, rummaging out from the land and sea of unforgiven people. A loud shatter erupts from the roaring streets filled with silence, the people are coming. Engulfing the city. Red, blue, orange and yellow. Explosives and gun fire and blood flowing down into the drains, mixing innocent blood with the impure water. Violence, detonating everywhere. I see fire everywhere. Once a family home now a lost memory which cannot be found. Everything is burning, life and love. The streets not painted with red. It's soothing the sidewalk. Hush now. A shadowy night. It's whispers reaches all corners of the earth... 'The war is over' Blue skies light up the back lanes, darkness retreating back under its box of everlasting mystery They fought a war We are fighting one too (first letter of each line + final 2 lines are the last two lines of the original poem etc)

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do the poor have that the rich need? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Jamie stegman is a masive idiot and does not have a life at all he is a tool which is true becuase no one likes him

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Yeah right loser!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

People Order Our Patties

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why does batman wear a mask? Because if he didn't every enemy would know who he was, go to his house a brutally murder him.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A car enters a curve. An ice-cream man pops out from a manhole and throws a pine cone to the car.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

(Put joke here)

thumb_up thumb_down -10

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z1Kuo-n7Du0

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chicken brains are not as large or developed as human brains, therefore preventing the chicken from making a logical decision, leading to it crossing a road with heavy traffic and eventually being run over by a semi.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's better than Jack Daniels? Jack Daniels Jr.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what do you call a black man driving a police car? a cop

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops