Dad what does negligence mean? SHUT THE FUCK UP KID! I TOLD YOU TO NEVER SPEAK TO ME AGAIN!

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what do you think when you see someone throw a man with no arms and legs into the ocean? chances of survival are minimal

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What's worse than getting Ebola? Nothing

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Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? John. John Anderson. Dude we've been friends since first grade! You really don't remember me? I'm going home!

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Give me thumbs up!

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A large man goes into a restaurant and places his order The waiter asks if he would like the weight watchers menu He says no because he doesnt care about his weight

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What did little jimmy get for Christmas? A box containing the malevolent soul of a 10,000 year-old demon determined to torment his cat.

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Are you gay? No. Ok.

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What did the iceberg say when Titanic crashed on it? "Yeah!"

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What did the cat say to the dog? Nothing, animals are in capable of formal cumunication.

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What do you call a black priest? A black priest

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Lady wanna go out sometime? Im not lesbian girl! Im not a girl... OUCHIE!

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Roses are red Violets are twisted bend over now your about to get fisted

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Chuck Norris is so tough, he trained diligently for many years and is now a widely respected martial artist

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what did the dog say? dogs can't talk therefore he said nothing

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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Knock knock. Whos there? The police, your wife is dead. The police, your wife is dead who? Sir, this isn't a joke.

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why'd the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

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What do you call a black doctor? A doctor you racist

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When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then watch the world as they wonder how you did it

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what is the difference between a park bench and a black guy? the park bench is an inanamite object and doesn't have feelings

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What do you call a person with no legs playing soccer? A soccer player.

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These Jokes suck.

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Chuck Norris can count from 1 to 100... twice!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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