How do you get a pirate out of your seat? Politely ask him to move for you were there first.

Your momma's so fat she died five years ago.

Q: What Would You Call Someone Who is 6 Foot and hairy. Answer: By His Or Her Name.

Q: What did the nomad get for christmas? A: Most likely nothing because he lives in the middle of nowhere where no stores exist. If anything, he got a sandstorm.

Why did the man feel so guilty after having sex...... He found out He was a tranny

How do you save a black man from drowning? You throw him a flotation device.

A lady was walking to the grocery store as she was walking she saw a old lady with a dog behind them where two black merses and about 200 women behind the merses. The lady Rushes over and ask '' Maim i am sorry to bother you but i would like to know who you lost and how?'' The old lady paused for a minute and awnsered '' I lost my husband and mother in law, Well My husband had just walked in to the house and my new dog went and ferousiously atacted him my mother in law had been living with us at the time she the jumped in and tried to help him They both died because of blood loss'' The lady looked at her with simpathy and thought i feel sorry for her husband and his mother she then asked '' Can i barrow your dog'' the old lady looked puzzled and said '' Get in line '' The lady walked to the end of the line as the dog was Passed to a women and taken home then passed back. When the women got her turn she thought do i want to kill my husband then she thought yes

A guy was beet by his wife.

Why couldn't the boy sing? The boy could sing, but the thick layer of duct tape prevented him from doing so.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a convicted serial killer.

Religion.

the love boat

Whats green and looks like eggs? Green eggs.

What do you call a man with no arms? A cripple.

dfasdf sdf ds fds fds f sdf s fs

what do you do to get a guy to vomit?? kick him in the balls!

Helen Keller went to town riding on a pony she stuck a feather in her hat and called it uuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

what did Sandra bullock say to Jesse James? I hate your fickin a**!!:)

whats hard, its not what you think a penis

Niki Minaj's ass

What is more worse than death? Death

Why did the little kid color outside the lines? He had Parkinson's Disease.

Mr Jones, we're sending you to a mental health clinic

A man walks in a barn. He lifts his bucket of food and starts feeding his horses.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...