A man walks into his doctor's office He says: ''Doctor, I have said goodbeye to my family and friends and I have decided to take the pills you offered me and die peacefully in my sleep, I won't suffer any longer from my disease''. The doctor answers: ''You are in luck, we still have a few of them left''

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Now this is a story all about how, my life got flipped, turned upside down. Now I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there, and I'll tell you how I lost my job at the tire plant, and how, being out of work and unable to find a new job, I was unable to pay my mortgage. The bank repossessed my house, my wife left me and took custody of the kids, and I ended up having to sell all my remaining possessions and move to a new city in order to try and find employment.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's worrying about a middle-eastern man on a plane? The fact you are worrying about it.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A duck walks into a bar and the bartender asks "What'll you have?" and the duck says "Quack". The bartender is then promptly fired and committed to the nearest mental institution for thinking that ducks can talk and order beer.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Three politicians walk into a sports bar. Suddenly, everyone is watching the Stanley Cup playoffs.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

I Have a Black Friend

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How many dead babies can you fit in a drawer? 10 25* *if you use a blender

thumb_up thumb_down -9

WELCOME TO THE SECRET BEYOND THE SIXTH SENSE! 1, Sound 2. sight 3.touch 4.Smell 5.Taste. 6.Balance? :(

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why is Keven's name spelled with an E Because his parents are black.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Xzibit

thumb_up thumb_down -11

An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

thumb_up thumb_down -11

roses are red violets suck dick i need a wee

thumb_up thumb_down -11

(Put joke here)

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the bodybuilder do when someone stole his wallet? Ab workouts.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

You're so ugly you got rejected from the zoo.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Wy did the chicken?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

BOTTOM!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A black man and a white man and a chinese man are sitting together: Cultural Diversity.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Who lost World War II? The Jews.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

*******A CELL JOKE******* Mommy Ribosome and Daddy Mitochondria are watching baby nucleus play around in the cytoplasm, when all the sudden baby nucleus falls down and breaks its cell wall. Mommy ribosome is like freaking out like, "OH NO< WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO WE NEED TO TAKE HER TO THE E.R.". Then Daddy Mitochondria says, "The smooth ER or the rough ER???"

thumb_up thumb_down -11

This is a sentence. This is also a senctence.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Which came first, the chicken or the egg? According to the theory of evolution, chickens are descendent's of dinosaurs, meaning that a dinosaur laid an egg, eventually creating a chicken thus meaning that the egg came first.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you get when you cross a celebrity with drugs? A highly probable circumstance.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops