Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Yeah neither did she.

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Why Does God Hate Gays? He Doesent, God Does Not Exist.

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Q: What's funny about prostitution? A: Nothing. It's a widely misunderstood profession.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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what did the cat say when he walked into a room full of dogs? Get meowt of here!

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There was a Mexican, a Chinese, and an American on a plane. The Mexican threw down a sack of beans, the Chinese threw down a sack of rice, and the American threw down a bomb. The plane landed. When the three passengers stepped out of the plane, they were hungry.

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What do you call an Arab flying a plane over New York? The Pilot.

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Wanna hear a joke? Womens' rights

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Why do vampires suck the blood of their victims? Because blood is very nutritious and provides more iron for heamoglobin.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he happened to be walking in that general direction.

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What is funnier than this joke? Jokes with higher ratings.

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A: Knock Knock. B:Who's there? A: The IRS and Child Protective Services

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You should periodically review the most up-to-date version of the Terms of Service. Oh you.

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Why did the boy dress up as a zombie? Because it was Halloween.

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Whats green has four legs and would kill you if it fell from a tree. Pool Table.....

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whats black and looks like a bucket a black bucket

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Why did the Black man cross the street? To get to the other side.

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What's the difference between an elephant and I?Our mass.

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roses are red violets are blue your baby has down syndrome

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"Ask me if I am a Lemon?" "Are you a Lemon?" "Yes, ask me if I'm an Orange" "No, I'm a Lemon."

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If a rooster lays a brown egg on the south side of an Asian man's roof, which way would I turn at the intersection? Folderol, because laundry has no soul.

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How many friends did Jeffery have? 0 because he ate them and put them in his fridge.

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How many Polish people does it take to screw in a light bulb? My dad is dead.

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I was in the middle of downloading a porno of two hot girls getting it on, my computer got a virus and crashed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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