- Anti Joke

IF YOU ARE A GUY: Think about a really hot girl. She has the perfect chest, amazing face, blonde hair, and looks flat out stunning. She takes off her shirt which is very appealing and causes for you to get excited because you might get lucky. She takes off her pants, or skirt depending on the choice that you decided upon when imagining this girl, and is walking towards you in nothing but a bra and panties. She continues to take off her bra and gets on top of you. You passionately kiss and afterwords she whispers in your ear, "are you ready for some of this?" you nod your head and she proceeds to remove her panties. Let's freeze this situation for a moment. Assuming that you would ever be in a situation like that there has to be a catch right? A hidden camera, her husband comes home, a rabbid zombie crashes through the door...something. I am happy to tell you that there are no worries about this because nothing will stop you from making sweet and beautiful love to this woman. So let's get back to the scenario. You not your head and quickly tear off your clothes and begin exploring her body. Now turn her 64 and give her a penis with an amazing amount of pubic hair, make her fat, and submit to this manlady. You ask how this happened? Earlier that evening you took a particularly large amound of LSD, or acid if you prefer, and began tripping out. You began seeing ugly people as hot people, and hot people as ugly people. Your friends were concerned because you were hitting on a tree and started humping it at which you were removed from the party by your date who just so happened to be a fat and ugly hermaphrodite who repeatedly raped you and made you cry in submition to her kinky tactics. Drugs are bad, but they make for interesting stories for your friends to tell their children when they get older at your expense.

Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

"Ask me if I am a Lemon?" "Are you a Lemon?" "Yes, ask me if I'm an Orange" "No, I'm a Lemon."

Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. Everyone is amazed because he can now walk.

This guy dies and his wife gets him cremated. She takes the ashes home and lays them out on the table and starts talking to them. "You know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money. You know the new car you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money." Then she whispers, "You know that blowjob I promised you? Well, here it comes..."

You should periodically review the most up-to-date version of the Terms of Service. Oh you.

what did the dog do when he saw the flea?he ate it because he didn't know what would happen next

What's worse than getting a jigsaw puzzle for your birthday? Slavery

JUSTIN BIEBER IS A FAG

How do you become thinner in a week? Stand in front of a Bulldozer.

Test

69

hey

It’s dead.

Your mom's so fat that her doctor recommended that she exercise regularly and foods with nutritional value!!!! Oh burn!!!!

I love you, you live me. Now get the FUDGE out of the tree!!!

Why cant the white man dunk? Because he lost his legs in a horrible car accident

Why was the black man eating a banana? Because bananas are an excellent source of potassium.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Yeah neither did she.

a weird guy tickled a watermelon.

Yo mama is so fat!

roses are red violets are blue your baby has down syndrome

Have you heard about the new German microwave? It's a great labour-saving appliance that cooks food much more quickly than a conventional oven

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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