Why does a squid have 8 legs? It doesn't, it has 8 tentacles!

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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Q: What's sad about seeing a dead twenty year old lying at the corner of a street with a beer bottle in his hand? A: He owed me twenty bucks.

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I am darkness, soon I shall rule the world, those of you that desire to serve me thumb this up, those of you that desire eternal fear beyond your imagination, thumb me down. Moral: Try thinking of me and thinking "he is crazy", in order to unlock the secrets behind spontaneous human combustion.

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What did the widow get for mothers day A miscarriage

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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A tiger walks into a bar. Clearly there is something wrong with animal control.

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69

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Why did the chicken kill itself? To get to the other side.

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This is a racist joke but who cares!? What is the difference between a black guy and a bag of shit? The bag I apologize to all my fellow black friends. -Lets go MEts

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Knock-knock. Who's there? The Chicken.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms

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Yo mama so stupid she tried to drown a dog and was quite successful at it. Know she serves a death sentence.

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What's green and fuzzy and would hurt a lot if it fell out of a tree and hit you? A pool table

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A man walks into a bar, has a few drinks and spots a nice looking lady He then follows her home and molestes her child.

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A man walks into a pole.

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How do you become thinner in a week? Stand in front of a Bulldozer.

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What does a tree and a human have in common? They both fall if you chop them with an axe.

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Surprise mother father (A+)

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Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Yeah neither did she.

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What is 6 plus 9? 15.

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Wherever you left it

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What Happends When Sawdust Gets in your mouth You poop logs

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You should really respect vegetables more. They rock. They're all like... AAAHH!!!... and I'm all like... DUDE! THAT'S SO INCREDIBLY RANDOM!... and seriously, you should respect da veggies!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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