Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. Everyone is amazed because he can now walk.

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Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

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Why did he buy ANTIJOKE THE BOOK! - ? Because he wanted to read it.

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Augustus was touring his Empire and noticed a man in the crowd who bore a striking resemblance to himself. Intrigued, he asked: ‘Was your mother at one time in service at the Palace?’ ‘No, your Highness,’ he replied, ‘but my father was.

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A man walks into a bar. - - - - - - - - -

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the dead monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer-pressure.

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What's better than ice cream? Anal sex

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What is green and invisible? This cabbage.

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what did the dog do when he saw the flea?he ate it because he didn't know what would happen next

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So I was making this glass of milk right? So I get the milk out. And I get the soup out.. then I go...wait a minute...where'd the glass of soup come into this glass of situations? *smile+awkard pause because nobody will laugh at this=Success of this anti joke...try it*

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Fags are gay.

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How do you kill a 1000 Ethiopians? Throw a biscuit off a cliff. JimBoto

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Whats worse than having a woman faking an orgasm? Having a guy fake one.

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Knock-Knock. Who's there? The person knocking at your door.

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Why cant the white man dunk? Because he lost his legs in a horrible car accident

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An Asian child flunks a test.

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Knock-Knock who's there? Artichoke Artichoke who? Your friend Artie choked on a ham sandwich, and I'm sorry to inform you that he didn't survive.

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Why did the girl die? She read Twililght

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What does a turtle do on its back? NOTHING!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being shot repeatedly in the chest.

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what do you do when a baby screams? shake it.

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Like CHUCK NORRIS, CHUCK NORRIS like You !

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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