Whats the difference between a ham sandwich and a dead baby sandwich? I don't stomp on my ham sadnwiches with cleats before I eat them.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

A black man and a white man were both pulled over for street racing. They both were also found to be drunk driving. Only the black man was arrested. It turns out the black man had just massacred an entire Amish village before going street racing to celebrate.

thumb_up thumb_down +169

- I shot the sheriff! - You murderer

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What did the cow get for Christmas? A tree

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody, because first, pineapples are too small to fit in, and second, you would drown.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why are you going to thumbs this joke up? Because I use the words "Chuck Norris" Thus making it impossible to not thumbs up.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Two men walked into a bar. The third man ducked.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being shot repeatedly in the chest.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

how Sudan answered England when England's ambassador eaten by Sudanese people? Eat ours

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Fags are gay.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Like CHUCK NORRIS, CHUCK NORRIS like You !

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A sheep walks into a baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Where does a homeless person live? No where

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what is faster than a cheetah? i dont know what? if i knew why would i be asking..

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Whats worse than having a woman faking an orgasm? Having a guy fake one.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's brown, liquid and bad for your health in large doses? Did you guess: Coca Cola? Soda? Beer? Pepsi? Wrong. It's beer. Did this Anti-joke sound pretentious? Don't worry, you're not the only one.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q. What language cant you speak A.Sign language

thumb_up thumb_down -23

what is small and is not fair Mitt Romneys tax rate

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Roses are red. Violets are blue. This next line doesn't rhyme. Nor does this one. This isn't a very good poem.

thumb_up thumb_down -71

Q: Why did the little girl upset? A: Because she was part of the human centipede

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what do you do when a baby screams? shake it.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why i Hate people. They are alive. The are breathing. The are near me.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why did the girl cross the road ? to get run over by a flee of running cows

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops