Yo mama so fat, she was accepted to a clinical trial for treatment of morbid obesity in middle-aged women.

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What's rock hard and is sharp? A rock...and my penis.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Regardless of the number of dead babies present, painting a house will require at least one living baby.

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Grandma walked into the kitchen...

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Knock knock! Who's there? Your mum. Oh hi mum, the doors unlocked

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What does a turtle do on its back? NOTHING!

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Last Christmas I gave you my heart... but the very next day your body rejected the transplant and you died.

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LeBron James hits a game winning three with time running out in the Finals.

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? Hello, I'm here to deliver your groceries. Ok thank you, please leave them by the front door.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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ask me if im poop are you poop? no that is impoible

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Q. Why can’t a teacher lift weights? A. Because, most teachers are women and most women do not enjoy It.

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Those days where everything goes wrong, and you think to yourself "I just gotta do whats right here"... ...Sigh... 2. DO YOU KNOW WHY I HATE YOU SO MUCH? BECAUSE I HATE YOU! (Blame is on me, love and hate are not opposites, send me a copy of your book, and ill rip it out for you)

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agp

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What's white and sticky? Glue.

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What's the difference between a monkey wrench and a snow cone? A lot.

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There was a goat and it was eating McDonalds, I just farted and my nuts are itchy.

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You should really respect vegetables more. They rock. They're all like... AAAHH!!!... and I'm all like... DUDE! THAT'S SO INCREDIBLY RANDOM!... and seriously, you should respect da veggies!

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Were can you find a bag of meth? A drug dealer

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What Does Alex J Simpsons Face have in Common with his hand? Spaghetti

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what do you call a man in a hole Fill

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Hi

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Max who Max Who's there Knock knock I'm dyslexic

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What's older than history? Pre-history.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops