How do you make an eggroll? You push it.

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Knock knock Who's There? Idk, who the **** names their kid There?

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Why did the the man not take acting? He wasn't good at it.

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April showers bring may flowers, may flowers bring pilgrims, pilgrims bring diseases, diseases bring death, death brings... Well it's just death.

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Knock Knock Whos there? The police, we've been getting reports of many ironically named metaphors knocking on your door to which you reply witty utterances, can you explain this frankly quite disturbing behaviour? The police, we've been getting reports of many ironically named metaphors knocking on your door to which you reply witty utterances, can you explain this frankly quite disturbing behaviour who? Wait aren't you the one who's supposed to supposed tell the punchline? Oh Yeah

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Why was the black man afraid of the chainsaw? Because its a potentially dangerous weapon

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Why did the girl throw butter out the window? She was suffering from an epileptic seizure.

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Why did the room packed with married people seem empty? Maybe they were all playing hide-and-seek. Or maybe the room was pitch black and they were all standing very still and quietly.

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Whats worse than a blonde jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car, and orphaning two little girls who are beat in the orphanage and become homeless and unimportant and consequently jumping off bridges themselves?

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lol

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ON THE SEVENTH DAY OF JUNE, THURSDAY HAPPENED!!!! -ilikecrepes97

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? If so, you're probably a pervert.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? - It was dead.

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Grandma walked into the kitchen...

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national song of the mute person? 5 minutes of silence please

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What did the old lady say when she went to a restaurant? OH look at the price of this salad.

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What has 142 teeth and can hold back the hulk? My zipper.

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Q: What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? A: They're all gone.

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yeah..

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Yo mamma so fat, she probably has Type Two Diabetes - which is often associated with obesity - and should seek medical advice.

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Q: what's black and white and red all over? A: someone getting murderd on a news paper

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Tell somebody that someone told you they look like an owl. When they say "Who?" laugh in their face

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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Q: What does 'A' stand for? A: Effort

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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