Those days where everything goes wrong, and you think to yourself "I just gotta do whats right here"... ...Sigh... 2. DO YOU KNOW WHY I HATE YOU SO MUCH? BECAUSE I HATE YOU! (Blame is on me, love and hate are not opposites, send me a copy of your book, and ill rip it out for you)

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What's the difference between a monkey wrench and a snow cone? A lot.

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Grandma walked into the kitchen...

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Yo momma's so ugly, she decided to get plastic surgery and now has much higher self-esteem.

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Q: What's Lindsay Lohan getting for Christmas? A: AIDS

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Why are you going to thumbs this joke up? Because I use the words "Chuck Norris" Thus making it impossible to not thumbs up.

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A cruise ship took sail. It was about a mile out into the water already. The blonde had missed the ship when it set sail. She was only capable of swimming a mile. She swam a half a mile out after the ship, and then turned around. She then later died due to a severe case of hypothermia due to the temperatures of the water for long periods of time.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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your mammas so fat she has to buy pants in the xxlarge section of the store

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee cord? My ass

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What did the little orphan boy get for Christmas? Nothing because he had died six months prior to Christmas due to the horrible living conditions of the orphanage.

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What do you get when you cross some eggs and some toast? Breakfast.

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What did 6 say to 7? Nothing, numbers are abstract concepts thought up by humans and therefore, they cannot speak or converse in any sort of language.

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Q: Why couldn't Katie ride a bike? A: Because she has leprosy.

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What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rihno? Rihno-elephant

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What do you call a man with a bad haircut? A man with a bad haircut

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What's the animal that eats with its tail? All of them, since they won't take it off when they get to eat.

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves when he realizes he is supposed to be at a business meeting

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Knock knock! Who's there? Your mum. Oh hi mum, the doors unlocked

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How many black people does it take to change a light bulb. One, of course. Assuming he/she does not have any physical or mental handicaps.

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What Does Alex J Simpsons Face have in Common with his hand? Spaghetti

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Why did nick and tyler visit anti-joke.com? Because they have nothing better to do.

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Hi

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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