What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects and can therefore not speak.

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Why did the Dr love drop hit guitar? Because a bear walked into a bar and killed everyone in there including dr love and was then shot to death by police and animal control.

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A man violently rapes a small child. Unfortunately the child has aids and gives them to the man.

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This is my firstever post so I wanted to make it very specialand have it really mean something, then I though fark that for a joke

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What's white and hides behind a tree? Shy milk.

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How do you make a clown sad? Kill his family.

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Jim: Can you shoot a basketball with one hand? Moe: There's no such thing as a basketball with one hand.

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My mumma your mumma live down the street 18,19 marble street out came you and out came me but then your mumma died from her pee

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what did batman say to robin before getting into the car? get in the car.

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What did the gay man say to the other gay man? Hey, we're both gay, let's have sex!

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What do you get when you combine KIA and NOKIA? A cheap vehicle with a cheap mobile phone inside.

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A man walks into a 1980's style restaurant he takes a seat and orders his meal.

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why did the black guy win a gold medal in the olympics? hard work, dedication and determanation! what no one else can be bothered to do anymore because of all this new technology and stuff!! get of your arse and do something active. NOW!

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What do you call children with no arms or legs ...their names

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? Hello, I'm here to deliver your groceries. Ok thank you, please leave them by the front door.

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One white male lives in a city with all blacks. He puts up with gang violence nearly every day.

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Roses are red Violets are blue (not really) I have Alzheimer's Cheese on toast

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Why did the girl throw butter out the window? She was suffering from an epileptic seizure.

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What do you call a man with a bad haircut? A man with a bad haircut

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Why did hale say I have but one life to give for my country? He has one life

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Why was the baby crying? It wasn't it got hit by a bus and died.

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IF YOU ARE A GUY: Think about a really hot girl. She has the perfect chest, amazing face, blonde hair, and looks flat out stunning. She takes off her shirt which is very appealing and causes for you to get excited because you might get lucky. She takes off her pants, or skirt depending on the choice that you decided upon when imagining this girl, and is walking towards you in nothing but a bra and panties. She continues to take off her bra and gets on top of you. You passionately kiss and afterwords she whispers in your ear, "are you ready for some of this?" you nod your head and she proceeds to remove her panties. Let's freeze this situation for a moment. Assuming that you would ever be in a situation like that there has to be a catch right? A hidden camera, her husband comes home, a rabbid zombie crashes through the door...something. I am happy to tell you that there are no worries about this because nothing will stop you from making sweet and beautiful love to this woman. So let's get back to the scenario. You not your head and quickly tear off your clothes and begin exploring her body. Now turn her 64 and give her a penis with an amazing amount of pubic hair, make her fat, and submit to this manlady. You ask how this happened? Earlier that evening you took a particularly large amound of LSD, or acid if you prefer, and began tripping out. You began seeing ugly people as hot people, and hot people as ugly people. Your friends were concerned because you were hitting on a tree and started humping it at which you were removed from the party by your date who just so happened to be a fat and ugly hermaphrodite who repeatedly raped you and made you cry in submition to her kinky tactics. Drugs are bad, but they make for interesting stories for your friends to tell their children when they get older at your expense.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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Miss Polly had a Dolly who was sick sick sick So she called for the Doctor to come quick quick quick The doctor came with his bag and his hat And he knocked on the door with a rat-tat-tat. He looked at Polly's Dolly and he shook his head. He said she had leprosy and must have all her limbs amputated.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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