why did the chicken cross the road? because he happened to cross the road

What has wheels and spins round and round? A dog in a wheelchair.

Why didn't the man eat the carrots? Because he was a vegetarian.

why did the little girl fall off the swing - she had no arms.

*Knock Knock* Who's there? Hello, I'm here to deliver your groceries. Ok thank you, please leave them by the front door.

Two gay guys walk into a Hooters... They order cheese fries and enjoy their meal.

JFK

Jim: Can you shoot a basketball with one hand? Moe: There's no such thing as a basketball with one hand.

When life gives you lemons you can't make lemonade! Life is not a person, place, or thing that is able to physically hand you something! But, you can go to your local grocery store and buy some lemons.

Wanna hear a dirty joke? If so, you're probably a pervert.

I used to be an adventurer like you... then I enlisted for much safer guard service with a more steady salary.

A man walks into a school, he then proceeds to gun down the majority of the students before taking his own life. What a sad, sad day.

Why did the man have 3 girlfriends? A: because he is a womanizer

Once upon a time, your face.

9/11

what did the angry asian man do after chrashing his car? He died later in the hospital that night from a combination of severe head trauma, internal bleeding, and various fractures.

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf.

why did the chicken not cross the road? He ran

What's white and sticky? Glue.

Women's rights.

A black walks into a Kentucky Fried Chicken. He was a customer.

What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects and can therefore not speak.

What did the the policeman say to the band member who trashed a hotel room? "You're under arrest" The band member replied "Well, you're under a vest" The policeman reiterates that this isn't the time to be making any jokes and that vandalism is a very serious offence

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She never got her drivers license.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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