What's the difference between a black man and a pile of shit ? One is a black man, the other is a pile of shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -133

what did the poor kid get from santa? Nothing santa hates poor kid, but the rich kid got a very nice convertable.

thumb_up thumb_down -141

What's red, yellow, and full of diabetes? Mcdonalds

thumb_up thumb_down +146

Daughter: Mom can i watch a movie? Mom: Sure. Daughter: Thanks mom! You're the best mom in the world! Well....Mary is, since she had Jesus.....But anyway. Thanks!

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Jews.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How do you starve a black man? You don't feed him.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the boy say to the stranger at his door? He said, "i'm not supposed to talk to strangers" and closed the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Ya know how when geese fly in a V-shape, one side is longer than the other? -Yes Do you know why that is? -No Because there's more geese on that side

thumb_up thumb_down +8

9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what is it called when a woman is president. The Apacolypse.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How did the Jew escape being put in the gas chamber? He killed himself.

thumb_up thumb_down

So Doc... Do I have H.I.V or not? Well... Lets just say you should think positive now... NO! I CANNOT LIVE LIKE THIS *Jumps out window* ...Because the results might not appear correctl... OH you do not have... Where did you go? Phew, Good thing it was first floor! Dont be silly, you dont have an immune system which means you have full blown AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -4

William and Kate do get off their ass and do something useful for once instead of hogging the cover of intouch magazine.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What is round and will hurt you if you step on it? The sun

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What is the favorite song of Lady Di? no, that is a dead person and must be respected.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

You are so gay you frequently, and consentingly are sodomized by men and frivolously enjoy it.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why Did The Girl Cry? Old People Are Funny.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

thumb_up thumb_down -22

how do you kill 1000 Ethiopians? throw a mars bar off a cliff!

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What has 142 teeth and can hold back the hulk? My zipper.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Once upon a time, your face.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why does a squid have 8 legs? It doesn't, it has 8 tentacles!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call one black guy surrounded by eleven white guys? Wayne Simmonds

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you say to a black man on fire... Stop, drop and roll !!!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops