did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and left leg? he's all right now

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what is it called when a woman is president. The Apacolypse.

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whats red that looks like ketchup taste like ketchup and is't tomato sorce? ketchup

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Seen the new batman movie? [spoiler] the audience dies

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Wanna know what my grandma said before she kicked the bucket? Hey grandson, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?

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Flop dog

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What has two thumbs and cancer? This guy.

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if a dinosaurs could talk, what would they say nothing their all dead

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Q: What is green, jumps and says i'm a frog? A: A frog that talks

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A bear walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender knows that bears can't talk and realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and rolls over to tell his wife about the dream. She hears the joke, but turns away from him and pretends to be asleep. Then the bartender begins to cry. His marriage is in shambles.

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what did the black guy say to the other black guy? good morning

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How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

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"Behold, the greatest invention Man has ever seen!" exclaimed the inventor of eyes.

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How was the fifty-four year old counselor in nineteen places at once? He was blasted by a cannonball.

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Q: a blonde, a brunette, and redhead jump off a cliff, which one hits the ground first? A: Most likely the one that weighs more

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Whats big, purple and hairy. Has 4 eyes and 2 brains? Nothing.

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What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A Pilot

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Roses are Red Violets are blue Goldfish

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Why was the little boy sad? Cause his mum died of a terminal illness. Why was the little girl sad? Cause she was his sibling.

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Why didn't the hungry woman get up and make herself some food? She has Lou Gehrig disease and any movement she makes results in excruciating pain.

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what did the angry asian man do after chrashing his car? He died later in the hospital that night from a combination of severe head trauma, internal bleeding, and various fractures.

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What did the pope do when he saw the grinch? He prayed for his soul.

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what do you call a pig that knows karate? pork-chop!

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what do you call a black man on the moon? Kid Cudi

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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