JFK

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"Lack of sleep" is that like... Sleep deprivation?

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? IT WAS DEAD.

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Why did the man shut up? because he was told to

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So a Jewish Family walks into a German Pizzeria. They were very satisfied with the service and ended up tipping the waiter 20%

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Did you hear what happened when the President, the Pope and the Dalai Lama went golfing? Neither did I.

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Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and he wanted to die with his body completely attached.

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What did the white guy say to the Mexican when he entered the US? How was your flight?

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How many Puerto Ricans does it take to clog the treads of my tank? Eight

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A man walks into a school, he then proceeds to gun down the majority of the students before taking his own life. What a sad, sad day.

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What did the the policeman say to the band member who trashed a hotel room? "You're under arrest" The band member replied "Well, you're under a vest" The policeman reiterates that this isn't the time to be making any jokes and that vandalism is a very serious offence

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What did the young boy say to the adorable kitten? "Aww"

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Imagine Buzz Lightyear standing on the edge of a cliff. He jumps off hoping to fly. He manages to glide for a little bit until a bird crashes into him a cause one of his wings to break. What happens then? Simply imagine him turning into bird.

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what's worse than getting a bad test grade? being raped.

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did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and left leg? he's all right now

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What is the difference between a cow and a pig? To get to the other side.

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Why was the Blonde Crying? -because she had just witnessed her infant get sucked through a jet engine and was very sad.

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Three men stood before Saint Peter at the pearly white gates. They were then sent straight to Hell for committing mass suicide in hopes of reaching a higher state of being through a device located on a meteor.

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Three Jews walk into a bar... I lied, it was a gas chamber.

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Patient: Hey doc, I think I might have a tumor... Doc: Don't worry, it's all in your head.

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Do you know what a lion really is? It's an over sized cat.

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What did little Jimmy say when he met God ? Nothing, God doesn't exist.

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Whats worse than a blonde jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car, and orphaning two little girls who are beat in the orphanage and become homeless and unimportant and consequently jumping off bridges themselves?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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