What did the deaf, dumb, blind, parapalegic kid get for Christmas? Cancer

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Am I the boss.No I was just offered the job

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What is Michael Bay's favorite fruit? Melon

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Dear mom, I'm wearing skinny jeans. If I can't get them off, Neither can the rapist.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Finding your babies head in a microwave

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A Jew, an African American, and a homosexual are on an island. They all came to Manhattan for different reasons and are enjoying the lives they've built there.

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What do you call a man with multiple sexual partners? Well, first you strongly urge him to get tested for any contagious and potentially dangerous STD's that could have been transmitted from one partner's genitalia to another person's genitalia which could have very well been he himself. They could be life threatening. Oh, and call him by his first name.

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Then help me understand Nero, people had the free and legal right to decide to be a part of our, or your society if you prefer, where has that option gone now? Where is the people that choose to believe in their own potential and in the one of their equals? Today we live in a society where its basically pop culture to dislike oneself, where it is considered narcissism to like oneself, and you know that we have both been affected, while those we considered allies before, have joined the same people that branded us evil.

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Why did Jim fall out of the tree? Because Jim is a leaf.

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Why did Billy start crying? Becuase he's fat and stupid and noboy loves him

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what do you call a black man on the moon? Kid Cudi

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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How many Puerto Ricans does it take to clog the treads of my tank? Eight

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What's worse than finding a hair in your sandwitch? Finding a dead baby in your salad!

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

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whats gay and can do flips? A gymnast

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Flop dog

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How do you fit 6000000 jews into a car? 1 in the front, 1 in the back and the rest in the ashtray.

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Why did the man shut up? because he was told to

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Part 1 - Why did Suzy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms! Part 2 - Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzy!

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What is the difference between you and I? I obviously have a life aas you don't because you are still reading these stupid jokes.

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What did jell say to the carriage driver from Uzbekistan that was underpaid and had no banter? Oh My God ROFLMAOOTG (the last three are "on the ground") "I will beat you with a small child that I will soon feed to the T-Rex's" should be on the list.

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A man walks into the bar and the bartender asked, "Why the long face?" The man replies, "Oh, sorry." And proceeds to remove his horse mask.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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