matt shut up

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A dog walks into a bar and asks for a pint.. But is immediately turned away as dogs are not allowed in pubs.

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What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Get it repaired.

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A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

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Roses are brown Violets are brown Who the hell keeps shiting in my garden

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Three men stood before Saint Peter at the pearly white gates. They were then sent straight to Hell for committing mass suicide in hopes of reaching a higher state of being through a device located on a meteor.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. "Knock, Knock!" "Who's there?" "Not Sally"

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Q. Why did the boy drop his ice cream? A. Because he slipped on his moms three day old tampon.

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When life gives you lemons you can't make lemonade! Life is not a person, place, or thing that is able to physically hand you something! But, you can go to your local grocery store and buy some lemons.

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what does an Ethiopian man say to greet a Chinese man well, first they must locate a translator fluent in both said languages, but they would most likely say hello

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why do humans have gall bladders? I honestly don't know

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Why did Justin Beiber cross the road? He didn't because he is still in the closet!

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Jesus may have walked on water, but Stephen Hawking runs on batteries.

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What has two thumbs and cancer? This guy.

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Why was the fish disappointed with his grades? They were all below C-level!

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Did you hear what happened when the President, the Pope and the Dalai Lama went golfing? Neither did I.

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A bear walks into a bar and says to the barman "I'll have a pint of................ beer please." The barman says "why the big pause?"

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shall i compare thee to a summers day, no, because thee are ugly, yay

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Once upon a time, there was a gorilla who found Suzie. Suzie was mauled because she had no arms

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What's better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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What do you get when you cross The Incredible Hulk and King Kong? Two angry fictional characters.

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Andy Warhol said we will all be famous for fifteen minutes. My soccer coach molested me and the trial was televised, they obscured my face and voice because I was twelve at the time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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