Oliver O'Farkle walks into a blue room carrying a bag of oranges and Swanson J. Doople walks into the same room in a parallel universe carrying a ballpeen hammer. How much collective space do the two women occupy and will they be able to make the 4pm train to Terre Haute? No, because the train is running late so transportation efficiency on the day in question proves impossible.

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What's worse than breaking your leg? Finding out that your family has died due to an infection causing all of them to perish in horrible deaths

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N

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What do you call a Chinese man flying plane? A pilot.

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Why did it suck to be a black jew during the Holocaust? cause you had to go to the back of the oven

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roses are red, voilets are creepy, i can beat you in call of duty

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What happened when Satan met God ? Nothing, because neither Satan nor God exist.

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What did the muffin say to the other? This isn't logical

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who broke the little boys window? his abductor/rapist.

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69

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What did the girl say to her tits? I wanna suck u.

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A guy walks into a pub. He cant walk out because hes blind.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding it in your nose.

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Why did the tractor run over the little boy? because he was in the way!

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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What do you call a black guy with a gun? A soldier.

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Part 1 - Why did Suzy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms! Part 2 - Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzy!

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A bear walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender knows that bears can't talk and realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and rolls over to tell his wife about the dream. She hears the joke, but turns away from him and pretends to be asleep. Then the bartender begins to cry. His marriage is in shambles.

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How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagon? 5 comfortably

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What's the square root of 69? 8.306623862918075

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Two computers walk into a bar I forget the rest

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How many aborigines does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They have no idea what electricity is.

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Why did the young man visit the optometrist? Because when he went to put in his contacts earlier that morning, he dropped one on the carpet and couldn't find it and it was his last pair so he needed to go order new ones but it had been over a year since he had been to the optometrist so they make you come get your eyes checked before you make a new order to decide whether the lens strength should remain the same or be increased/decreased.

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Jesus may have walked on water, but Stephen Hawking runs on batteries.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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