whats bright and yellow? the sun.

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Q: What was so funny about the death of Michael Jackson? A: There wasn't anything funny. He was one of the best pop stars ever and many people loved him.

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patient: Doctor, It hurts when I go like this. doctor: Don't do that.

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What did the pacific ocean do to the Atlantic ocean? He waved.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? A problem What do you call 10 black men on the moon? A problem What do you call 100 black men on the moon? A problem What do you call ALL the black men on the moon? A very serious problem. We should probably try and rescue them.

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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What do you call a mexican running out of a bank? A man running late to pick up his kids.

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Who's this Jesus, have you heard of him?

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Dear diary, its day 230, the apple supply's are running low, the doctors are closing in, the dentists have been chanting "its time to go to the dentist" all day, I wont be able to hold them back much longer, help.

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whats white, and stinks of urine? nick griffin's toliet

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What did one black guy say to the other black guy? I haven't thought of it yet....

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what did the ninja say to the watermelon nothing that was chuck norris's watermelon

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Why do latins like soccer so much? Because it's a very popular sport in the whole world.

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Why do you almost never hear Americans complain about doing their laundry? Because they have a washing machine and they realize the majority of people in developing nations do their laundry by hand, using a wash board.

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Wanna hear a joke? Good, go ask a comedian.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown Who the hell keeps shiting in my garden

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Why didn't Superman save the world trade center? He was in a wheelchair.

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

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Why couldn't the dog say anything to the cat? It was born deaf.

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How many people does it take to change a lightbulb? It depends on if the person has a lightbulb of the correct size and wattage...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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