What did Adam Sandler get for Christmas? Nothing, he is Jewish

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A Weight loss service that works

thumb_up thumb_down -95

What's red, yellow, and full of diabetes? Mcdonalds

thumb_up thumb_down +164

Q: what did the common cold say to the cough? A: you are SO annoying!

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A man heard a thundering sound. It was thunder.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did they name the cat Salty? I have no idea, ask his owner

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the Chinese man cross the road? To get to the Chinese restaurant.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the man float in the lake? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +83

Knock knock. I HAVE A SHOTGUN

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you get when you mix Fruit and Flys? Fries... or Flutes, depending on how many Flys your add.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was the little girl screaming? She was on fire. ~G TY

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why do you almost never hear Americans complain about doing their laundry? Because they have a washing machine and they realize the majority of people in developing nations do their laundry by hand, using a wash board.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the latino say when he was struck over the head with a shovel? "ouch"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why didnt anyone like matt adams? cuz hes a stupid buttface

thumb_up thumb_down -39

A guy walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic and it's destroying his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +66

If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

69

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why can all black people dance? I have no idea, quite frankly I find that to be a insensitve racial stereotype.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock. Knock. Who's there? Sgt. Richard, here... your son was raped many times by Iranian soldiers, then forced to make love to many goats and had his limbs chopped off.. he will never be able to walk, talk or poop without assistance again. OH MY GOD, NO!.. WHY!!! Haha just kidding mam, he stepped on a landmine and died.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

roses are red vioets are blue i have chlamydia now so do you....

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What did the brick say to the face? Nothing bricks don't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Why did Landry hit the man with a metal pipe? Because he was a rapist and wanted to remove his virgin status.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

how do you make a baby cry? throw bricks at his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops