Why did the little boy and the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because they were dead.

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126

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How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagon? 5 comfortably

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On a scale of Voldemort to Nigel Thornberry, how large is your nose?

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What's the square root of 69? 8.306623862918075

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Your computer runs so slow that I had to run a virus scan.

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Q: What do you call a fly with no wings. A: Dying.

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Q: What's worse than death? A: Nothing.

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What the best part of having sex with twenty-eight year olds? Theres 20 of them.

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How can you tell your woman is cheating on you? When you witness her having sexual relations with another man that she is clearly enjoying.

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What did the moon say to the sun? "I am the moon."

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? Sgt. Richard, here... your son was raped many times by Iranian soldiers, then forced to make love to many goats and had his limbs chopped off.. he will never be able to walk, talk or poop without assistance again. OH MY GOD, NO!.. WHY!!! Haha just kidding mam, he stepped on a landmine and died.

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Why did the boy fail gym? He had cancer and had to amputate both of his legs.

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Why didn't the blonde have friends? She couldn't find them at the store.

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roses are red, voilets are creepy, i can beat you in call of duty

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roses are red vioets are blue i have chlamydia now so do you....

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A man walks into a bar and utters profanity because he's hit his head on a protruding metal object that cannot move out of the way and has therefore made him look stupid because he neglected to walk around it.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Oh, they were just nailing a notice of foreclosure to the door.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown Who the hell keeps shiting in my garden

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what kind of animals marriage is high? snails because It has home and car.

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Good for him. Thats wonderful!

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shall i compare thee to a summers day, no, because thee are ugly, yay

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How do two porcupines make love? Well actually it's doubtful that porcupines feel higher emotions like love - they pretty much just mate for reproductive purposes.

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what does an Ethiopian man say to greet a Chinese man well, first they must locate a translator fluent in both said languages, but they would most likely say hello

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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