What can be worst than letting someone you dont know run a chainsaw? Letting Smokey Dokey run a chainsaw!

This guy dies and his wife gets him cremated. She takes the ashes home and lays them out on the table and starts talking to them. "You know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money. You know the new car you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money." Then she whispers, "You know that blowjob I promised you? Well, here it comes..."

What's faster than a black guy with your TV? Probably someone who doesn't have to carry such a heavy object.

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

A man walks into a bar, has a few drinks and spots a nice looking lady He then follows her home and molestes her child.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

Why did the man mow his lawn without his shirt on? Because it was very hot out.

I love you, you live me. Now get the FUDGE out of the tree!!!

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Stolen.

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room without dinner.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he happened to be walking in that general direction.

Get me a sandwich, bitch

Why i Hate people. They are alive. The are breathing. The are near me.

So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

Yo mama is so hairy, because she's arab.

Ask me if I am a tree Are you a tree? No.

what did batman say to robin before getting into the car? get in the car.

What did the poor sickly orphan get for Christmas? Nothing.

What did the gay man say to the other gay man? Hey, we're both gay, let's have sex!

What's black, white and red all over? A zebra carcass

Have you ever seen that clown at walmart that hides from gay people?

What did the cat say to another ? meow

How do you fit 100 babies in a bucket? put them in a blender. How do you get them out? potato chips.

" So let's set the world on fire..." Q: How do you do that? A: Strike a match...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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