what did the dog do when he saw the flea?he ate it because he didn't know what would happen next

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room without dinner.

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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Why cant the white man dunk? Because he lost his legs in a horrible car accident

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What's the difference between a pizza and a black man A pizza can feed a family of four

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? He had no arms.

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Q: How does Lady Gaga like her meat? A: Exactly what her preference is.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he happened to be walking in that general direction.

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I've got a fever and the only cure is ibuprofen.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the dog, which also fell out of the tree.

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Three men walk into a bar. You'd think one of them would have seen it.

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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- I shot the sheriff! - You murderer

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How do you get Pikachu on a bus? Hide him under your coat.

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What's better than ice cream? Anal sex

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a weird guy tickled a watermelon.

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Whats green has four legs and would kill you if it fell from a tree. Pool Table.....

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Why Does God Hate Gays? He Doesent, God Does Not Exist.

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I grew up, if we cannot live for ourselves, we cannot live for others, remember how people admired us when in their presence, while mocking us behind our backs, most humans do nor respect those that do not rule with lies, false promises, all backed up by an army no amount of civilians can defeat. We lost because people got what they wanted, preferring false promises from all ranging from their Gods, to their politicians speaking about their Gods, promises of betterment as a result of war in the name of Gods, but we are not that people. The problem is, that I used to believe that all of humanity possessed the potential people you and I have, and realize now that when I began looking down at people, I began looking down at myself, considering us all equal to them. Red, we might be few, but we are worth far more than those we consider our equals, maybe it is time even we, sought to rule those that desire to be ruled, rather than to help them find their desired path, because their desired path, might always have been to be ruled.

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Three men sit at a bar. A clown walks in, so the first man says, "Oh, what fresh hell is this?", gets up and leaves. Then a fairy flies in, so the second man says, "Aw, hell no!", gets up and leaves. So the third man was alone with the fairy and clown.

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Q: What's funny about prostitution? A: Nothing. It's a widely misunderstood profession.

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why dont black people like cruise ships? they already fell for that trick 400 years ago

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms

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How many friends did Jeffery have? 0 because he ate them and put them in his fridge.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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