Ask me if I am a tree Are you a tree? No.

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A man walks into a bar. - - - - - - - - -

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What happened when the chicken crossed the road? He was hit by a bus!

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What did Batman say to his parents? Nothing. They're dead. Idiot.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the dog, which also fell out of the tree.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had cancer and died.

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Q:What's red and fluffy? A: A blue rock, if blue were red and rocks were fluffy

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing, shes already been told twice

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A man walks into a pole.

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Why did the Black man cross the street? To get to the other side.

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I grew up, if we cannot live for ourselves, we cannot live for others, remember how people admired us when in their presence, while mocking us behind our backs, most humans do nor respect those that do not rule with lies, false promises, all backed up by an army no amount of civilians can defeat. We lost because people got what they wanted, preferring false promises from all ranging from their Gods, to their politicians speaking about their Gods, promises of betterment as a result of war in the name of Gods, but we are not that people. The problem is, that I used to believe that all of humanity possessed the potential people you and I have, and realize now that when I began looking down at people, I began looking down at myself, considering us all equal to them. Red, we might be few, but we are worth far more than those we consider our equals, maybe it is time even we, sought to rule those that desire to be ruled, rather than to help them find their desired path, because their desired path, might always have been to be ruled.

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Why Does God Hate Gays? He Doesent, God Does Not Exist.

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Q: What's funny about prostitution? A: Nothing. It's a widely misunderstood profession.

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What's the difference between mustangs and dead babies I don't collect mustangs

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I am darkness, soon I shall rule the world, those of you that desire to serve me thumb this up, those of you that desire eternal fear beyond your imagination, thumb me down. Moral: Try thinking of me and thinking "he is crazy", in order to unlock the secrets behind spontaneous human combustion.

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What do you get when you sunflower? Vegan turtles.

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What happened to the chicken crossing the road? She found a male chicken, had many babies and lived happily forever after.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? *cause 7 8 9? NO cause 7 was a nigga!

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What did the two fire men say to each other whilst a house was burning? Well be better put that fire.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a black man A pizza can feed a family of four

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Did you hear about the speed reader on top of the Twin towers? 90 stories 5 seconds.

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What is funnier than this joke? Jokes with higher ratings.

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What's the easiest way to burn calories? Set a fat kid on fire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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