A: Knock Knock. B:Who's there? A: The IRS and Child Protective Services

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An englishman, irish-man and a scotsman walk into a bar. Englishman orderds a pint of becks, Irishman a guiness and the Scot a whiskey. Everything is absolutely fine and nothing of even remote interest happens.

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knock knock who's there? roses are red, violets are blue, i shit in a bag and now its in flames on your porch

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What is 6 plus 9? 15.

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Why did the boy dress up as a zombie? Because it was Halloween.

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Roses Are Red Violets are blue A face like yours belong in a zoo Don't worry ill be there too Not in the cage but laughing at you

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Whats green has four legs and would kill you if it fell from a tree. Pool Table.....

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How many lemons does it take to fix a lightbulb Lemons can't fix lightbulbs as the don't have a mind,heart or any limbs.Think about that crap.

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Why did the girl die? She read Twililght

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? No, he hasn't either

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What's worse than repeating holocaust jokes? Repeating the holocaust.

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What do you call an Arab flying a plane over New York? The Pilot.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Shoes, socks, and mittens.

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Why is your face? Because.

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Why did the chicken kill itself? To get to the other side.

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When there's something weird in your neighborhood, who you gonna call? The police.

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Bob- yo mammas soo fat tha.. Joe- I know...

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Jehovah's Witnesses.

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A dog walked into a bar. The bartender barked at the dog and the dog replied with, "I don't speak dog language."

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So I was making this glass of milk right? So I get the milk out. And I get the soup out.. then I go...wait a minute...where'd the glass of soup come into this glass of situations? *smile+awkard pause because nobody will laugh at this=Success of this anti joke...try it*

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Every 60 seconds in Africa.... A minute passes.

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So theres a priest, a rabbi, and an athiest on a cliff. They all remark at the beautiful view and take plenty of pictures with their respected families.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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