So what makes you that much adaptable? I get the feeling I should get this by now.

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Did you hear about the guy who got his entire LEFT side ripped off? He's dead.

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Why did the blonde fail her driving test? She was paralyzed and had down syndrome.

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Q:If an apple and an orange had a politicial debate, what would it concern? A:Nothing important.

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A zebra dies and goes to animal heaven. All the animals around him are trotting, flying, jumping, each according to its own species, in the kind of bliss that only eternity can bring. But the zebra is not impressed and mopes through heaven's green fields. A giraffe notices his languid stupor and asks, "Why so glum, pal?" The zebra mournfully replies, "All my life I've wondered if I was black with white stripes or white with black stripes." The giraffe, hoping to get the zebra to some answers as quickly as possible, suggests, "Why not go as God?" The zebra, somewhat taken aback by the notion that God might give him an audience, replies, "Oh, I can do that?" The giraffe says, "Sure, I'll show you the way!" The giraffe leads the zebra to a great tabernacle of gold and points the way up a long stairway of diamond. The zebra follows the stairs up to two great ivory doors. But no matter what he tried, the zebra couldn't get the door open. The only animals that could open the door for him would be the primates because of their opposable digits, but the zebra wasn't much of a social animal, so he didn't have any friends. He spent eternity with no answer to his question.

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There were once three bears who lived in a cottage in the forest. They left to go to the market one day. While they were gone a blonde girl walked into their cabin. Meanwhile at the market, everyone was freaking out that there were bears there.

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I love results day! for every A* I get 30 pounds! everything else I cut myself.

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A women's opinion.

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ahhh finally removed the splinter I've had for quite some time now. Hopefully that was the last one I'll get for a while...touch wood

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What has three eyes, scales, seventeen stomachs, and can produce milk? Nothing. Nature has not yet evolved any animal to these specifications.

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Two birds fly onto a bench. They cherp 3 times and sit there enjoying the nice weather.

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A gay man walks into a biker bar and orders a drink. The bartender says "Hey, you want ice with that?"

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What happened when the man was about to hug the sexiest person he ever saw in his life? He hit the mirror.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Do you know mirror has 6 letters and half of then are r's?

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Did you know Helen Keller had a swing set? Because she didn't.

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Why don't chicken wear underwear? Because their peckers are on their face

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have narcolepsy.

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What did one Chinese man say to the other? ?????

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69

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Why did Jimmy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a truck.

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What's worse than an explosion? A nuclear explosion.

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you: "hey, is your refrigerater running?" random, confusded individual: "yeah" you: "oh."

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What's black,white, and red all over? Nothing, because if it is completely covered in red then it can only be red.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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