How do you get a jew out of an empty pool? Give him a lader

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How many Muslims does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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Why was Steve hungry? Because the last time he ate was yesterday.

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What did the apple say to the orange? The apple did not say anything at all because fruits do not possess the ability of speech.

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How do you wake up your friend in a reasonable manor? you beat the shit out of him

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What's brown, dirty, and smells like feces? Feces

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What's blue and says "Good morning" A blue sign that says good morning

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What is the secret to winning football games? Score the most points.

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varför skriver jag på svenska jag vet inte

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Time to call animal control.

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doctor doctor i have been having a sore head recently . doctor : have you hurt your head yes

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

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What's the most common pickup line in a gay bar? "Hi, may I buy you a drink?"

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Two Jews walk into a bar. They promptly order their drinks and then leave.

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What did the blind boy get for Christmas? The same toys from last year.

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What is not a crocodile? The teenage mutant ninja turtles

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What did Super man say when the bullets didn't hurt him? That didn't hurt.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get back up? She had no legs. Why couldn't she see? The sun was in her eyes.

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I hate all races.. Especially the 400 meter sprint

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What did the hungry man do? He ate.

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Why did the Mexican cross the border? He was being deporting because he over stayed his visa and is now an illegal immigrant

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your dad's gay. just let that sink in.

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A blonde walks into a store and tells the clerk "I'd like to buy that microwave". The clerk says "we don't sell things to blondes.". The blonde comes in the shop the next day with a brown wig on and says "I'd like to buy that microwave". The clerk says "we don't sell things to blondes". The blonde asks how he knew she was a blonde. The clerk replies, "I can see flyaway strands of your hair from the top of your wig and the synthetic hair material of the wig is not convincing.

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My thanks to those that thumb down my comment below, you have the possibilty to become one of my over 100.000.000 members, as long as you follow your heart, your own will, we got you covered. We got over 600.000 never members since last year, you are far from alone, thumb this comment up, leave a small comment, and I shall send one of my shadows to tell you more, or online if you prefer that, but then I would need your email address... ...As for your home address? Nah, already know it just let me know if you want a visit, but during my 6000 years on earth or so, I have yet to evolve to the point where I fully understand the full nature of computers, they are very recent to me. Yet only those that are willing to follow their hearts and enact their true hidden desires without shame, guilt, remorse, but instead with love and gusto, will find the answers among us. Soon my wings shall spread, and just like that, the world is ours! Moral: "Fuck Morals, would you believe me if I said they where in code? No they are not, the secrets are only within the shadows, and the Black Angel. Nero.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops