What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

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A white man and a black man were walking down the street. The black borrowed the white man's phone to make a quick call when an incoming call came in. The black man, while trying to hand the phone back, says, "Here, it's your Dad." The white man replies, "No, that's my phone." Amazed at how uneducated the black man was.

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Q: How did the black man die? A: He got hit by a car, and we all know that this is painful.

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Knock Knock Who's there? I said who's there? The man opens the door to find there was no one there and begins to shake in fear as his schizophrenia is getting worse.

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What goes in dry, comes out wet and pleases two people. A teabag, you pervert.

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Sidney Crosby comes face-to-face with Alex Ovechkin. The Penguins were playing the Capitals.

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Roses are red Violets are blue The sky is blue too

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What is the definition of a "crying shame"? Very similar to the definition of a shame, but moreso.

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What did the milk say to the oatmeal? I came from a cow nipple.

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what did meredith and nick have in common an i

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Whats the difference between a Duck? One of its legs are both the same.

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In Soviet Russia, you have no rights!

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Give a man a fish, feed him for a week. Teach a man to fish, he'll starve to death. Provide this man a fishing rod, and now finally you're doing something helpful.

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How could the teacher tell that the student was dead? logic

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fuzzy wuzzy was a bear fuzzy wuzzy had no hair so fuzzy wuzzy wasn't fuzzy was he? yes

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What do you call a man with 3 arms, 6 ears, 9 fingers, and a red clown nose? His name.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Does this smell like chloroform to you?

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1 man walks up to a tiger and eats cheese toast with brownies and butter and wonders about the stars the end james

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Whats worse then Justin Bieber? It's a trick question, there's is nothing worse than her

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knock knock piss off

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What is the difference between Boyscouts and Jews? Boyscouts come home from camp.

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How did the man with no arms or legs cross the street? He didn't.

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What's blue and says "Good morning" A blue sign that says good morning

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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