Robocop and T-800 argue over who can run the fastest, Robocop claims he is the fastest, while T-800 says that he is the fastest. To settle things once and for all, they start a race. At first T-800 seems to be leading Then the T-800 is leading by a great distance. moments later the T-800 has a huge lead. But then suddenly, without any warning, the race shifts! T-800 is now leading only by a great distance! Yet in a amazing, and completely unexpected plot-twist. T-800 wins! Moral: :O

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What's worse than the holocaust? I'm a zebra so what is the holocaust.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Spanish Inquisition.

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Chuck Norris doesn't answer the phone - he doesn't have one at the moment

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A penis takes a trip to spain, he falls in love with an apple and proceeds to commit suicide

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A fat guy. - Louis

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What do you call a guy with no hands working in a hat store? larry

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Womens rights

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why was it funny that the boy got hairspray for christmas because he had leukemia

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How do you make a mime talk? Put a gun to his head.

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When life gives you lemons, you realise that life isn't a physical object and therefore you have problems. Have a nice day.

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What's the best joke in the world? This one.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Why did he have to die so young? It just isn't fair... In all considerations, the bullet didn't ask to become embedded in his skull either.

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Whats the difference between a red cup and a blue cup. Ones red and the other is blue.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey. Why did the other bird fall out of the tree? It was shot. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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What did the horse say to the other horse? Neigh

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you thro them

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What's brown and sticky? Vomit.

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Has anyone seen that clown that hides from gay people in Tesco's

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What happens every 5 seconds? An African kid dies.

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A man walked into a pub, and enjoys of a couple off pints. Some time later he loudly asks the gentleman next to him: Do you know about this thing called Fightclub?... The bartender had to call an ambulance, you don't talk about fightclub

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Q: What starts with "P" and ends with "orn"? A: Popcorn Q: What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? A: F'uck you -Ap

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If I have 7 oranges in one hand and 8 oranges in the other, what do I have? Big hands!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops