why was the little girl crying? because she was molested

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Beacuse it was dead.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's, Who are you?

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How do you make a plumber sad? Kill his family.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Set an alarm for a reasonable hour.

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One man's trash is another dyslexic man's shart.

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I think people who go to see a psychiatrist need their head examining.

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Why was the little girl blowing bubbles in the swimming pool? Because she was drowning

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A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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There is a new film coming out, it is a re-make of "Fatal Attraction" The only difference is, it is about two tonnes of antimatter... [L]

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Why did the rabbit cross the road? I don't know, I was asking you.

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why did sally fall off the swing? because she was a fish.

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Pinus Testicles

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What is the definition of a "crying shame"? Very similar to the definition of a shame, but moreso.

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I nicknamed my diick "the truth" because the biitches can't handle it

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A horse walks into a bar... The bartender is amazed at the fact that an animal that possesses neither the mental nor the physical abilities to open doors, still managed to enter the bar without breaking anything.

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whats hard, its not what you think a penis

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What do you call it when you kill a Jewish homosexual? Murder.

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Chuck Norris didn't count to infinite twice. He can't even do it once.

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What's the difference between a Lamborghini and 10 dead babies? I don't keep a Lamborghini I'm my garage

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One time I masturbated by myself

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How do you help a chronic drug addict? Buy him or her more drugs. They NEED it.

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What goes in dry, comes out wet and pleases two people. A teabag, you pervert.

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How many dead babies can fit in a dead horse 11

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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